Sunday, December 02, 2007

3,200 Brits are lost every year during airport transfers

Ok - so I've made that one up... so what?

It is well known the penchant of Labour Government for (mostly phony) statistics - usually taken either out of context, or derived from moronically extrapolating trends over ridicoulous lenghts of time.

Take the one that has made the headlines this week about the population of England doubling in size to 110 milion, by the year 2178 (or whenever): whoever came up with that number (most likely, a Government-funded research quango) simply took the population increase over the last, say, 5 years, added some exponential growth immigration factor, fired up Excel and "dragged" the numbers until it got where it wanted it to be.

However, rather than berating the stupidity of such approach, I decided to follow this sterling example and come up with some statistics of my own - and invite everyone to contribute.

  • In London, you are never more than 2 yards away from a chav;
    (heard on Radio 4)
  • In the year 2013, the average weight of single mothers in Luton will be 15 stones;
  • There are more than 66m people with learning difficulties in Europe;
  • The average donation to Labour Party is £4,567 - excluding those from dodgy businessmen;
  • Each Public Sector worker contributes on average 2.5 tonnes Carbon emissions over the duration of her career, whilst providing a negative contribution to GDP of 0.35%;
  • In the year 2030 the number of Public Sector workers will exceed the total number of private sector workers, people on benefits and dogs in the UK.

Who knows? some of these may even turn out to be true!